thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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