Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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