Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize