Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
so that wasnt chicken after all
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Randomize
