The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
