You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
