Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
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