Its about making memories worth repressing
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'm just crazy horny about you
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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