Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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