My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
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