So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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