I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
