im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
