hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Boobs speak an international language.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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