If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
