your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I'm always down for nudity.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
