You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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