Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
