Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
dude i'm inner monologue high
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Randomize