everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
