it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
