Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
