i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
