If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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