No awkward lesbian experiences without me
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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