I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Randomize
