What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
