dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
