Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
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