im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
