Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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