my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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