"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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