id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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