just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
its not stalking. its research.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
