what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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