Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Randomize
