The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
