i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
