You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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