just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize