therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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