how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
