I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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