just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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