I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
