So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
