it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
