Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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