Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
