I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
