then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
