Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
