i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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