We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
