I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
