see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
