Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
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