I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
its not stalking. its research.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
