I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
