I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
